Invigoration.

she lowered her gaze, only to notice her hands shook uncontrollably, clenched tightly in fists. weight built in her head as she found herself near unconsciousness. "this cannot be happening!" she screamed in her head. all these shocks had given her enough strain to last her for a century. as much as she wouldn't mind being told these truth openly, she dreaded being the one who found out about them later, or worst, from someone else. her ideal often gave her a hard time, thrashing her around like she wasn't worth it. she had stubbornly refused to stand down, fighting even with a shaky fist. she had never been one of the siblings to give up without a fight. for she knew she will clearly regret it if she allow herself to back down this very instant.

あきらめがつかない。