the headache worsen as my thoughts ditched me n started wandering wild without leash ..
i do have difficulties in understanding the dialect, especially without explanation. but more than anything it felt worst to be left out completely, both physically n mentally, during these few short tormenting hours.
on the other hand, it must be me focusing on the negativity that is actually "nonexistence". unconsciously i fought my inner self that "i used to be invited along". with the switching of scenes, dwelling became almost too natural, i soon fell into the pit of blaming myself for "what have i done wrong this time .."
me continue to complicate myself, drown in this humid n quiet festive season. the invitation of celebrating this festive day together, is left abandoned in the night, unsaid, unrevealed .. hidden ..彼氏がいるの時まだ寂しいで、へんな ..