Thursday, October 23, 2008


i wasn't exactly thrilled when i received the news. somehow it is just so i can exchange it with my lost "peace", n hopefully has the urge to return to my "Home Sweet Home" from now onwards. as much as i wanna live My life, i still ended up being their puppet. there ain't exactly choices to choose from, but for the sake of me desperately needing the "calmness n peacefulness", it is finally concluded that my pride is worth sacrificing. :p

お静かに欲しいだ ..


  1. You know at the age of 27, i'm still getting the sort of stuff your getting now... in fact just recently, i have been fighting for my own freedom and at the same time trying to make a compromise with them on what they want... sigh... sometimes i longed for the day when i can fully stretch out my wings and fly where ever i like.

  2. Getting to know more about your current situation, sigh, for me is a sad case actually... I want freedom, and for sure you need it desperately, right?

  3. I'm leashed too, but my leash is long. Every single day I try to pull the leash longer a bit, without anyone knowing, without being too bold, so nobody know what I'm trying to do.

    That's why I have quite a long leash, now, though limited, it's enough to have a breather.


  4. marcus: first of all, good to have you back .. i mean, appear, even thought you've always been here. the holding back they are doing, is making me rebellious double time as well. i don't find myself compromising them in situation like this, more like forcing myself so to gain something in return. so in the end, i'm still doing things the way they wanted it.

    akira: trapped under their care for too long, they actually took it for granted. holding you back shows their control over you. somehow because of that, i longed to break loose even more desperately.

    rollakid: but doesn't every now n then, you'll feel like you're suffocating ?? what was long enough suddenly seemed not long enough ?? i get that all the time. as when i thought i grew up, i was held back again. bummer ..

  5. Come on now, living together with your folks can't be that bad right?


  6. I wanna live my life my way, and I need my very own freedom to decide my own fate, cuz I'm the only one to live by it, and no one else :)

    I appreciate with their loves and cares, but there must be diffrn way rather than suppressing me to become who I don't wanna be.

    hmm... Marcus? just that you put it that way I wanna fly too, and yeah, I've always wish that I had wings, I feel good to fly, very free and independent... When I got upset over sth, I could probably just flied up high in the sky to somewhere far away, and then came back acting as if there was nth gone wrong lol...

    BTW, I just wanna come here and *hug* my princess. Miss you, nite nite

  7. deimos: seriously ?? then my guess is .. either you live outside now, or you're the "very free" type at home. many of us don't have the choice to do what we want, in fact almost everyone i know have similar struggle. that is, if you didn't notice the people around you were struggling at home. ;)

    barbie: i wanted to live my life my way as well. i guess some adults have problem adjusting to others. causes them to adapt the forceful way to "love n care" for us. well sometimes what they think is good, may not be what we want. therefore often left unappreciated. we won't be grateful if we were forced into something i suppose.

    thanks for the lovely hug, princess. you're just here at the right time. ;)

  8. I am living together with them.

    [you're the "very free" type at home.]

    Eh, what do you mean by "very free" type oh?

    What do you want to do and that they do not approve of oh?

    Struggle? What kind of struggling are you talking about?

    At the moment, my home only consist of the following people:

    1. My dad
    2. My mum
    3. Myself
    4. Darling
    5. Our Indonesian maid

    Well, if struggling is defined as in participating in conflicts, then yeah resident no. #4 cannot accept the resident no. #2's actions, so there was much senseless bickering back then.

    Things are much better and calmer now that she has chosen to leave.

    So what other else kind of struggling are you referring to yah?

  9. Somehow, you are trying your best to lose the grab, arent you?

  10. deimos: basically everything. meaning you'll have to get approval from them before you can proceed with any of your decisions, big or small. it means that they are still in charge of your life, instead of yourself. it is not like you have a choice to Not tell them. but it is a Must to report everything, etc.

    akira: all the time. it sucks feeling restrained. n it still feels like we are living their life instead of our own.

    joshua: no, it still isn't !! XD

    mica: thanks. :)

  11. Actually that is our life, which cannot be controlled by others!!! Protest for it!!!

  12. akira: isn't that i'm doing ?? in fact, i'm all drained because of it. many still don't get the struggle though. sad, n i wonder why.

  13. That is a sad case... Well, try not to being controlled by them... Still got the chance, correct?

  14. akira: yes i'm doing that. you should know very well that i'm not the type who give up easily.

  15. Yup, certainly I know that... Giving up easily is not the type for both of us...

  16. akira: definitely. unless someone can persuade us with reasonable points. ;)

  17. Persuade us? Haha, must have some strong points instead of just give us some bullshit points...

  18. akira: of course, that is what "persuade" is about. ;)

  19. Haha, sometimes I dont like people who tried so hard just want to persuade me...