Friday, July 06, 2007


i was recently exposed to the idea of "reading the bible". n there is this small little booklet thingy given to me, to serve as a guide, a starting point.

years ago, i would have fended off the idea, by fighting off every word that person say. not saying out loud but clearly in my head. the reason being .. i had a bad experience with the religion thingy. it almost destroy the family. pulling us apart. corroding the trust. it has been a dark period for us. for me. but i'm grateful that the particular family member had awaken n finally realized what is more important to him/her, before it really does ruin everything, n was successful in controlling his/hers obsession or whatever-it-is-called.

for that, i gave it a second try. giving myself a second chance. why close the door? why caress the comfy-us, when there are so much more to discover out there? why avoid the secrets of life? why afraid of reaching out?

n so, i decided to accept the extended hand that is held out to me. "you need to have faith, n be willing to step out" he said. an awaking nudge. suddenly realized i was hiding all these times, tucking my tail between my legs. letting that experience held me back. n the nudge reminded me to let it go. i had one bad experience, so what? should the experience tug me by my nose n lead me for the rest of my journey? oh no it won't .. i will not give it the power to restrict me anymore.

fight with myself if i have to. tame myself if i have to. no, life is not just this. it doesn't end here. there is so much more out there !! i'm confident in that. n i'll continue my search. this is merely a starting point for me ..

*getting all excited again*

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