Mozart and the Whale (2005)

the film is better than i expected !! at the near end of the film, the 2 characters fought n finally reached an understanding. despite their differences n disagreements, they are unable to live without each other. Love is all that matters. things can be worked out when Love is the starting point. this scene causes me to burst out in tears. tears of happiness for the 2 characters. n tears of loneliness for myself. the happy ending makes me miss him dearly. the thought of losing him (while imagine myself as the female character in the film) breaks me .. this is a dramatic romance. the lives of 2 people with Asperger Syndrome (a form of autism - brain development disorder). they have difficulties in social interaction, having no ability to accurately represent themselves. he is a good-natured but quite a miserable taxi driver, with a superhuman knack for numbers. the moment she joins the autism support group that he leads, his life, his heart - are turned topsy turvy.

Nurturing Feelings.

appreciate lots when he cared for my feelings, fulfilling my emotional needs, caressing it. in lovey-dovey cuddling, as well as in general conversations. not to mentioned sensitive ones, those with feelings n emotions at stake.

the efforts we put in. the urge to involve n connect each other with ourselves. will it one day become our habits ?? one that comes naturally as time goes by ?? or will it last for just another week ?? as i once heard, it took 21 days of consistent repetition actions to form a habit.

Effort (ěf'ərt)
definition:
- the exertion of physical or mental power
- something done by exertion or hard work
(quoted from DICTIONARY.COM)

pets..

helping a friend -jing- "advertising" his pets. :D hehe. kidding. he shared the pictures with me, while i requested for the "permission" to post them in my blog (since he doesn't blog .. :p). see the exposed tummy of ah-mi ?? wanted so much to caress it !! it would definitely be if belongs to my punk - yuki .. *wicked laugh*

Transformation.

previous banner ..


current banner ..

spent a couple of hours this afternoon, updating a new banner for my little paradise. purpose is to kinda change the mood. but of course i still stick with the Anime theme. *chuckled*

Becoming Jane (2006)

Jane Austen (1775 - 1817) was an English novelist. she is one of the most influential and honored novelists in English literature. this film is loosely based on her life before she becomes a writer. she looks for inspiration by finding true love in her life. a touching n heart-breaking journey.

it is indeed true. the time she ends her affair with Lefroy is the blossom period of some of her greatest works of all time, including the famous "Pride and Prejudice". this is a beautiful film. i enjoyed older era films with English/British accent. the language itself is beautiful enough. so is the love story. though heartbreaking, but touches the heart indeed. the scene - after several years, the moment Lefroy appear with his eldest daughter, named Jane - overwhelms me .. same goes for the background - wide green grassland, ancient houses, large castles, horse carriages .. pretty much fairy tale like. the film is a huge recommendation if you enjoy literacy.

The Brave One (2007)

Jodie Foster as never been as cool !! i was impressed with her being a vigilante (person who takes law into their own hands). this type of characters are usually dominated by males. she had it all under control, portraying strength, charisma and invincibility. *applauds* she plays a radio talk show host, who made poems of life in New York. she walks the city recording its people and sounds. rhythms to used as the background for her poems. i enjoyed watching her do her job. its is so artistic, n appreciating every sound, hearing life in things. n so poetic .. viciously attacked by 3 hoodlums, she was wounded badly, her fiancé killed, n their dog taken. awake from her coma 3 weeks later, devastated n her life shattered, she swore revenge. becoming "someone else" as she called herself. overall, this is an above average movie. recommended if you have the time.

Heart's Companion.

the instant he suggested, the urge to meet up burns within me. how can i refuse when that is my exact yearning ??

amazing how a 45 minutes get-together is able to calm the restlessness within me. the unsettled feeling that has been tormenting me whole day. the anxiousness of not being able to perform anything right !! *frustrates*

am thankful for having a heart's companion - one thing i truly search high n low for. someone who answers to my heart's calling, while i answer his. to fill each other with contentments.

ain't sure how long a heart's companion may last. but for now, please free me from all doubts. for what i crave, is just to bask in the sunlight while the sun still shines brightly ..

shoulder to lean on..

Back to Nature.

underneath the burning sun n humid weather, none is more pleasant than taking a cool dip in the freezing mountain water ..

the trip was surprisingly soothing n refreshing. the comfort of being in each other's embraces had never been as fulfilling. caressed by his warm touch, the coldness of the water is the least of my concern.

birds were tweeting, insects were chirping in the background. nature watching over us, casted its spell on us. we took off from reality, drunk within the power of nature n love ..

dodging his glance, felt his palm brushing my heated cheeks. so comforting it is to just curl up next to him, leaning my head on his chest, n his arms wrapped around me. fondling with my hair, he showered me with kisses on the forehead. the feeling so safe, so secure ..

as i had read somewhere, "the best perk of being in a relationship, is to have someone to cuddle with." true indeed .. *contented*

mooncake festival ..

(photographs taken with devil's SE W810i)

a night, where the moon is the main actor. yet the flaw being Not having a clear night sky for the moon to embrace its night.

the park was flooded. with people n lanterns - a scene not seen for the rest of the year. colorful, mesmerizing n eye-catching. be warned though, as it goes up in smoke as quick. :p

took a stroll down the path, along the lake. watching people busied themselves with lanterns n candles. traditional paper lanterns was seen everywhere. children hold electronic ones instead. lanterns with music, lanterns that twists n turns, as fancy as it could be. comes in various size n shapes. :D

for many, despite weekday, it was a family night, a lovers night, as well as a buddies hang out night. after all, all it matters is with whom you spent the night with .. :)

Enrique Iglesias: Somebody's Me (2007)

a very, very sweet music video. yet how sad when the table is turned, such passionate couple become immediate strangers .. have you tried hard enough today lest regret ?? let it be work, family, relationship, ..

some background on the MV (music video):
- artist: Enrique Iglesias
- title: Somebody's Me
- language: English
- album: Insomniac
- released: 2007

yuki (ゆき、雪)..

for those who think that 猪猪 is my cat, especially -Prim3- (you amongst all people !!), he is not. 猪猪 is a stray at devil's workplace. YUKI (ゆき、雪) -- is my cat. my punk. he had been with us for 2 years. my treasure. love him dearly .. :)

星座

按此阅读更多详情 - ♈ 牡羊座

中秋节快乐 !!

注：多谢 -振川- 与我分享了这只超可爱的 “祝福兔子”。谢谢哦 !!

Zodiacs

thanks to D' Mighty -Prim3- for generously sharing his "spam" forward emails thingy ..

♉ TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) -The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

kitty..

a stray, nicknamed 猪猪 by devil. haha. loves to stick its nose into what they are doing. i've never meet it in person (in animal ??) but imagine it to be as curious as my punk -- yuki (ゆき、雪) :)

"neh....I can break your phone in seconds..."
- quoted by LukXiuFung. haha good one !! :D

Sweet Rain.

rain has never been as sweet ..

under the shower of rain, walking in fast-pace. following slightly behind, my palm was totally covered in his. he led me through the crowds, along the street, through the mountains of umbrellas. everything - are merely shadows playing in the background. we are totally in our little fairyland. paradise indeed ..

away from the crowd, filtered from all the noises. we then sat in a café - a place that felt ancient. no memories of the crowds, yet i remembered the flickers in his eyes clearly. from across the table, knowing smiles escape our lips. a smile that speaks more than a thousand words. contentment filled me ..

who would have known, the choice between "Strawberry" n "Honeydew" could turn out to be a wonderful night ?? who would have thought, a slow-paced relationship would take such a huge leap out of thin air ??

an ordinary night -- sugar-coated, filled with overwhelming sweetness ..

My Wife Is A Gangster 2: Return of the Legend 조폭 마누라 2: 돌아온 전설 (2001)

the opening scene is similar to the first MWG, where she jumps out of nowhere n save her underlings. but this time, to be more impressive, it is done with Christmas Carol as the background music. "White Christmas". this film required some knowledge from the previous MWG. it doesn't live up to its expectation compared to the first. less action, as she "lost her memory" -- "become an ordinary girl" -- "in search of her memory". kinda typical for a storyline. Zhang Ziyi (章子怡) appeared as a minor role. in a short fight scene at the end of the film.

fruit cake..

"more cakes to come" as i promised .. ;)

was making a fruit cake with mum this afternoon. for sister's dunno-what-function (probably another function that didn't matter again .. ) she prepared the ingredients for us, while we just need the effort to make the cake.

prepare the ingredient, make the dough, blend in the raisins n nuts, ready it for steaming .. n guess what ?? we had been spending half the afternoon making a fruit cake out of SALT !! salt !! can you believe it ?? arhh !! *frustrates*

spend another half of the afternoon making a second fruit cake instead. there goes the effort, n wasted ingredients .. *shrug*

cakes..

cakes !! *run amok screaming in the house*

the flavors ?? chocolate, chocolate n chocolate. haha. not sure what's the reason behind the choices all turned out to be chocolate. ask my sister, she's the culprit .. :p

the taste ?? average. maybe a little above average. the second one is nicer though. the topping was slightly bitter, which is to my liking. *drools*

My Wife Is A Gangster 조폭 마누라 (2001)

the film evenly divide the comedy n romance. some good actions are of course seen, but not much. the focus here lies in how the romance are presented. i was impressed by how touching it can be. it is serious yet it warms your heart !! erm .. now i sounds pretty much mixed up too .. overall, it is much more recommended then My Wife is a Gangster 3. the film does have the "wife" being the gangster, not as MWIAG3, where the "wife" is only a "guest". it is so cool how the husband (a typical guy) would become her support in the gang at the end of the film. so totally sweet !!

Tag: I'm Tagged, Therefore..

1. If I was an opposite gender, what would my party clothes be like? elegant n proud. (what ?? we are allow to dream, aren't we ??)
   
2. At 10am this morning, I was… blogging (post title - lion dance). it is my hobby after all.
   
3. At 10pm tonight, I will be… will be ?? its in the past. *sweat* .. well, i was hanging out with my sister at Coffee Bean. drinking coffee n eating turkey ham sandwich.
   
4. Who should be the next Malaysian Prime Minister? erm .. don't know, don't care. ain't gonna be better anyway. why bother ??

lion dance..

i love lion dance !!

how can you not like those huge furry thingy that bounce around, blink their huge eyes, n wave their tiny little tails ?? it got me totally excited just by hearing the "music" - the drums, gongs/cymbals. can't help but to rush towards it !! :D

this lion dance performance was due to the opening of the "mid-autumn festival / mooncake festival (中秋节)" at Carpenter Street. i was busy watching, while devil took photographs of it .. :)

had a great night with devil. so much better than expected. despite being rather familiar with each other n cuddly, its like falling in love all over again !! *blush* :)

Prioritizing.

feel rather contented lately. the feeling of being needed n cherished. barely did anything, yet being appreciated just by spending the time together. it fills me totally. *reliefs*

a sudden burst of sadness usually results in a sudden burst of happiness. even the most stressful classes i have every week, turned out to be a snap of fingers. i guess it is the re-directed focus thingy ..

while we were sitting around with a bunch of friends the other day, i was suddenly asked a question by one of the guys. "girls prioritize their relationship, don't they?", i nodded firmly. n at that exact moment, noticed my partner looking straight at me. dodging his glance. yes, "prioritizing the relationship" - is the exact reason we were having our issues by then. (thank god its "case-closed" n concluded -for now- .. )

taking a step back from the conflicts that we had, i suddenly realized how very fortunate we are !! at least we have the chance to create conflict, to fight for what we feel important. n these conflicts will merely served as our stepping stones towards a stabler relationship. *grateful*

our friend, however, ain't so fortunate. their relationship started less than 1 month ago. oh wait .. it was only 1 week or so .. reason being: she ain't pretty. why start the relationship in the first place, while you knew it won't work ?? is it funny to break other's heart ?? or maybe he was "testing" ?? what the .. *sigh*

how sad it is to place "appearance" as the most crucial factor while in search of a partner. there are so much more underneath. so much more that meets the eyes. things that really matters !! .. *taking a deep breathe* .. ah well, i suppose we all have our own values in life. for him, maybe it is appearance ..

may god free his mind, as he had free mine ..

Blood Brothers 天堂口 (2007)

this film is inspired by John Woo (吴宇森)'s Bullet in the Head (喋血街头). by using Shanghai (上海) as background, the film presented perfect image of: gangland chiefs ruling the streets, beautiful girls craving for a better life - singing, dancing or acting. it showed how the boys venture into gangland. being tested for loyalty n comradeship. they soon found out that there are much more to sacrifice, for guns n girls. the film is truly presented in a elegant n "perfect" sets n costumes. however, there was a general sense of emotional emptiness. the gun-fights can be more believing if it weren't one-sided all the time. which means the good-guys can still walk even after being shot. where else the bad-guys all fell in one shot. sometimes they barely have time to shot at all. surely this is too fast too furious .. 2 brothers n a friend head to the big city for an opportunity. leaving their village to pursue their dream. they do not see greed n the desire to have power coming. their friendship are tested severely. challenging the Chinese saying of "blood being thicker than water" (血浓于水). the love story are pretty messed up. too much angle of "possible" love advancing. yet nothing happens. everyone sticked with the "original coupling" thingy in the end. Daniel was obviously struggling with Mandarin, just to sound right. pretty good effort though. having to sound real, especially in anger scenes. Shu Qi is trying to be innocent with Daniel, but she ain't. she is the gangland chief's girl after all. struggle hard to be his number 1 girl, she search for comforts in affairs. more than an average love-triangle. despite its weaknesses, the film did prove to be charismatic enough to hold my attention till the end. the characters are portray beautifully, regardless of how bloody it is. everything is simply "perfect" to the eye ..

Rainbow.

life has its ups n downs.
sometimes the sun shines; sometimes the rain pours.
but it takes both the sun n the rain to make a rainbow ..

have a colorful day !!

My Life Is A Gangster 3 조폭 마누라 3 (2006)

first of all, the film barely has anything to do with the title. she wasn't his wife to begin with, but a "guest" from Hong Kong. she was laying low from gangsterism rivalry in Hong Kong. she choose Korea, where her mother is. nor did the film touched on gansterism politics. its more of a personal thingy .. he, on the other hand, is the underling of her father's friend - a Korean mob boss. he was ordered to take care of her. which turned out to be her taking care of him. the story kinda lacked of focus. there are no real danger, nor tension. just enough actions to show that she is not some girl to mess with. the love story ain't that interesting either. average. no lovey-dovey neither. the translation joke started out to be quite funny n enjoyable. it managed to lighten the boring sequence of the film. but then again, too much of a good thing cheapens it. the Korean translator girl gets pretty darn annoying as the film progressed .. *speechless* anyway .. watch the film if you are a fan of Shu Qi (舒淇). won't recommend it otherwise. gotta admit that she looked pretty cool in the film !! in a manly way though. i wonder if that's a good thing to start with .. hm .. *sweat*

Moving On.

something to keep you thinking. as it kept me thinking ..

are you clinging to something that no longer fits you, just because it's easy and familiar? (it could be a job you've outgrown, a relationship you need to re-examine, or a behavior you need to change.)

to develop and grow you must be willing to move out of your comfort zone. n deal with a little "distress". never become so "settled" that you can't let go n move on when you need to.

patience and persistence may be admirable, but they won't work in situations you've outgrown. instead of hanging in and trying harder, at certain points you have to stop and ask yourself, "Is this situation good for me?"

when it's time to move on, it's because there's another place out there that will fit you even better. so - are you ready for bigger things?

in case you're wondering if i'm referring my relationship to this short passage .. relax, i'm not. we are no where near it. there are so much to work on, barely time for doubts. i tried to recall if there is anything that i had refuse to move-on though. so far so .. *blurred*

Blades of Glory (2007)

as promised by its posters, this film is absolutely hilarious to watch. honestly, i didn't like the trailer, nor the poster. was even a little disgusted by it. the reason i watched, being a friend -li- 's recommendation. n it was proven worth watch !! Jon is hardly a funny man in many films. in this film, he is portray as a germaphobic (obsessive cleanliness) n precise person. Ferrell is the sex machine on skates. they started out as 2 rival ice skaters. both the world's best men's figure skaters. they were then stripped of their gold medals and permanently banned from men's single competition. reason being they broke into a fight on the awards platform, while sharing the same gold medal. a careful reading of the rulebook led them to compete as the first male-male pair. n that's when the fun begins .. i enjoyed the opening scenes a lot. wonderfully written. beautiful orphanage, white winter, little blond boy skating flawlessly. it started off really strong. n most importantly, the ending was satisfying. it surpassed the typical expectations of a comedy. the costume, on the other hand, are simply beautiful !! as ridicules as Ferrell looked in these costumes, it actually makes him looks rather cool. Jon has no problem with the glittering costume as he is the "lady" of the pair. the pair work rather well together. their differences are what make them special. their relationship evolves from rivalry to friendship as the film progressed. the yelling n yapping reduced overtime, n they even started to care for each other's feelings. a bittersweet relationship ..

beach..

hasn't been to the beach for quite a while. since the beginning of the year if i remembered correctly.

the weather was on our side today. took a trip to Santubong Resort. had a stroll on the sandy beach. having fun kicking the salty seawater. it is barely breezy, yet soothing enough for a rather relaxing, n enjoyable afternoon .. :)

- little crabby - is totally not shy in front of the camera, not even the least bit frighten or trying to avoid it. photogenic ?? or maybe it loves the camera as much as i do .. :p

love it lots when he wiped the sweat off the tip of my nose. little action that warms me straight to the heart. such cuddly n cozy feeling .. *snuggles* :)

What's Lost is Found Again.

my struggle solely lies in not knowing where we're at. n no longer know what i'm working towards. what i need, is to feel stable n needed, not being tested like some guinea pigs, which might last for years.

after a long night, long hours of conflicts, once again, i found my aim. i belief its worth the time n effort to make each other "see" our own perspective. though more works n efforts are needed from now on, but it is so much better than watching the relationship wither away. *pains*

i had been misinterpreting his effort, by applying my own definition of "effort". surprisingly i found that there are so much more that goes under that smile, so much more running through that mind, despite his quiet appearance. though i don't quite understand his thoughts, nor his way of doing things. but i do get one important point - he cares. even when he doesn't show it, he still cares ..

ain't sure how to achieve the "trust" n "accept" thingy. but then again, i suppose they won't fall from the sky without me reaching out aiming to achieve it. *thinking hard* .. can i -trust- without feeling -stable- ?? can i -accept- without having -trust- ?? shouldn't -trust- be earned overtime ?? .. *dizzy*

somehow, he knew me more than i thought he knew me. he knew me even more than i thought i knew myself. stuff that he said, simple yet straight to my deepest longing -the desire to be happy-, things that he saw right through me -the pain that i had gone through-, things that i thought otherwise -the trust thingy-. can't help but to well up in tears again. but this time, it is the tear of relief, the tear of gladness. i'm finally able to say aloud: i'm not alone in this relationship.

for those who follow my struggles, watching me hanging on n cheering me on - Thank You. you are in fact, part of my energy source to surface. thanks -hian- for listening n the late night contribution of helpful perspectives n advices.

cake..

a cake !!

a yummy, pretty cake. not mine though. it hasn't been eaten yet, but one large piece is missing. where did it go ?? who took it ?? is it me, me, or me ?? ;)

*wicked laugh sounded in the background*

Stomp The Yard (2007)

i was quite confused when the film started. reason being .. with caps on, the casts all look so similar .. typical plot - vengeance, love, rival - but you were to ignore everything else and just focus on the dancing. you will tend to find it more entertaining and worthwhile !! the whole rivalry n competition thingy climates in a massive dance competition. everything works out in the end for Columbus. he not only helps win the competition, he also gets the girl. well .. "predictable" is one of the keywords to keep in mind while watching the film. a great combination of hip hop, dancing, n stomping, which I find so very exciting !! *adrenaline pumping* their performance during the competition was so impressive. both the lead actor -Columbus- and the rival -Darrin- are actual dancers and choreographers. hence the dancing are believable and seriously good. it would have been great if the dance sequences had been the focus of these film. instead of being shown in quick shifts. rather wasteful. it is, in fact, what gets the movie going ..

IQ Quiz

fun stuff to try out !!

thanks to devil for sharing this fun thingy that eats up my brain cells .. created by Thai, n presented in English.
tips: sometimes, think harder, think outside the box usually helps;
sometimes, well .. don't think too hard ..

start cracking your head !! good luck !!

Naraka 19 地狱第19层 (2007)

this is not a ghost story. it is more of the adventure to the "unknown dimension" between the living n the dead, as they travel back n fro. n despite its old-fashioned title, it started with Mobile Phone's SMS feature .. the film is based on an Internet-novel, written by 蔡骏. it is written in pseudo-psychological themes. it managed to capture the interest of its audiences, yet not fulfilling. it ultimately ended in muddled n pretty much inconclusive. the first thing i asked right after the film ended, is "what?". *blurred* the girls enter an SMS "game" where they traveled to each level of Hell, in hopes of passing through them all and reaching a fabled 19th level. they got invited via a text message. n at the appointed time, they warped into a level of Hell. they faced obstacles - personal - before making it to the exit, thus solving the level and earning them passage to the next level. If they don't pass the level, then in the real world they suicide. its like a curse thingy .. those - like me - who like their movies tied up in neat little packages, may feel unfulfilled. because there are no visible ending. some characters face their personal demons head on, others in circles. in the end, no one reaches level 19 .. *sweat* though the journey is not a waste, but again, it is not concluded ..

Hooked on You 每当变幻时 (2007)

one cruel fact that i found out a little too late, which is after the film had ended .. is that the film doesn't focus on the "happy ending" thingy. despite the flow of the story and how we are being mislead, it didn't end the way we hoped or thought it would. it was a good story nonetheless. a story of 2 fishmongers - Miriam n Eason. how she wanted to get married before age 30. n how she missed all the chances he gave her. she ended up with a successful career. n him with a happy family (not with her). unexpectedly, i tears fell when her "dad" died. it was surprisingly heart-breaking. wasn't expecting to cry for a comedy. it does somehow proves its success in capturing the viewers' heart. *claps* the film used the concept of her setting her mindset to "choosing the right person to marry". in return she let all the chances slipped by. though it was covered up with a successful career, but her loneliness was visible.

Thanks.

thank you so much - 宝茹, Cometh, jimmychin, Prim3 - for the concerns that i've received.

i do get some "don't think too much" responses. but no, i won't stop thinking. *tongue out* :p the reason being - i care. n i will improve, aiming n performing a better solution.

i do not despise the so call "bad-emotions" (sadness, disappointment, anger, conflicts). for i hold strongly for my belief towards "what comes after" these bad-emotions. if they lead to better-emotions (understanding, happiness, contentment), i will be more than willing to welcome these bad-emotions with open arms.

happiness are temporary, are circumstantial. sadness will have a greater reflect on the happiness that i will feel. therefore i do not fear them. sadness n conflicts will lead to a better tomorrow. hanging on, holding strong, i believe i will be understood.

i fear doubts .. doubts of "not being able to make it". *shaking my head hardly* no no !! this thought will Not concur me !! *blocked*

having faith ..

mini-pig..

Thankful.

despite my struggles n messy thoughts on the current status of our relationship, a short passage that i had just read halted me in my thoughts .. i had been so concentrate on the worries that i had, yet i didn't realize how far we had come !! yea, i know it is unfair to him .. *introspecting*

if i were to compare to 1-year ago, things are considered to be cheerful instead. though still lack of in-depth understanding, but obvious improvements can be seen.

it is so easy to get trapped inside the "negativity" thingy .. though i'm deeply concern. but for now, taking a break from all these thoughts, i'll be thankful. thankful for the halt that makes me realize that my biggest enemy now, might be myself.

there are issues to be solved, there are "actions" to be taken (or to be exact, actions "not" to be taken - refer to the Active or Passive post), yet negativity is NEVER the attitude to face nor to solve the issues.

we are in fact, aiming for a better tomorrow. not for a fight that erupts any moment ..

i'm finally able to stop my drilling in the misdirected thoughts. i will continue to work hard from now on, with or without action, i will still put my full effort in it !! *cheering myself forward*

kittens..

devil was at the back of his house when he heard meowing of kittens. curiosity drove him to check out the source of the sounds' origin. kindles (group of domestic kittens) were found. 3 main characters were spotted. a white kitten, a black kitten n a brownish mum. mum was fierce n hissing all along, uneasy with a stranger approaching her children. "whitey" n "blacky" are fearless despite mum's concern. they curiously check devil out, while he busied himself capturing photos of them. :)

Visual DNA

another personality test i found while browsing through my buddies' blogs. n this time it is - emmelly - 's blog ..

my quick Visual DNA summary:

- mood: Easy Rider (dreamer, go-getter, easy rider, wild cat, sophisticate)
- fun: Thriller (conqueror, worker bee, escape artist, thriller)
- habits: High Time Roller (junkie monkey, back to basics, high time roller, new wave puritan)
- love: Love Bug (touchy feely, nice n' cheesy, home soul, love bug)

Active? Passive?

more dilemmas n self-contradiction ..

i really shouldn't be demanding for more. yet sometimes i felt like i'm not involved. n not being involved in a relationship that i'm in, worries me a lot. a very dangerous sign ..

yet when i finally realized how this has been going on "forever" (well .. at least it really does feel like "forever"), its difficult for me to stop. i had "shifted" long before i notice, shifted from being in the passive-role to the active-role. n when i'm suddenly advised to return being the "passive"-me from now onwards, i was deeply troubled ..

as i was warned n forced to pause in my tracks, looking back over my shoulder, at the efforts that i had put in for the "shifting", i was shocked to find out that i may be no longer be myself. i'm now the "other" me. the "second" me. an active "me" that i created along the way, to make myself suit him. (instead of requesting him to change n suit me, cause things will never work out that way .. )

what i was advised, is to "sit tight n observe". as easy as it sounds, it is pretty nerve-wrecking !! the efforts n actions that i performed while i was in the "active" role, are all banned for now. i was left with "no-action, only response". (inner scream: no ~~~~ !! )

it pains me, to sit on the bench n not being in the field, to look at the relationship falling apart, n not "allow" to do anything, to save or at least to maintain it. had been reasoning with myself: "no, im not giving up !!" yet, now may be time to re-think the direction of this relationship. i'm starting to doubt .. another dangerous sign !! *struggle to stay on the path*

i knew roughly what would happen when i'm placing myself back in the passive-role. this is the exact reason i had shifted myself towards the active-role in the first place. dilemmas .. dilemmas !! *dizzy*

NOW - is the crucial period of the relationship .. *holding my breathe* n *having faith* ..

Mayday 五月天签唱会

last Sunday (September 9, 2007), Mayday organized a 签唱会 in our city. it was like a very mini-concert. where they sang quite a few songs within an hour plus time. thanks to -Jeffery- for the free tickets. :)

the mood was high !! yet the sound system kinda .. erm .. sucks (??) the bass was too strong n uneven, n that caused the echoes to bounce within the auditorium's walls. in return, we can barely hear what they said or sang. but well .. it didn't manage destroy the mood though. :D

there reach a time, a song which we both enjoy was being performed. named "angel". my heart was suddenly filled with warmness. not because of where i'm at, neither was it because of the high-spirited environment i'm in. the flow of the music just flow into my heart easily, caressing it.

can't help but to look at him. watching him enjoying himself n listening to the music intensely. not sure what came over me, but the next minute i knew, i was giving him a sudden peck on the cheek. he was as surprised as i was excited. *blush*

well .. *shrug* .. i can be a rather warm person, despite my cool n withdrawn appearances (which i'm often misinterpreted). that is, only when i'm given the chance to feel safe n express myself freely .. :p

overall, it was quite a night !! :D

harmonica (口琴音乐会)..

last Friday (September 8, 2007) there was a small harmonica concert organized by the local harmonica society.

their purpose was to introduce the long forgotten instrument - harmonica - to the newer generation. they encouraged children to explore the instrument n develop interest toward music.

the young player was using the world smallest harmonica. one of the limited fancy stuff shown during the concert.

dances n singings were performed from time to time, to increase the liveliness of the concert. it would be rather dull if the almost-2-hours performance were solely relying on harmonica itself.

Tag: Great Birthday Meme

i was tagged by -Cherry- for the birthday meme. its purpose is to find out what other events n birthdays that happens on the exact day of your birth date.

its kinda interesting, as it pauses us in our track, n realized "well yeah, there isn't just me in this world that owns this date."

date: 26th July

1971 - Apollo Program: Apollo 15 mission.
Apollo 15 was the 9th manned mission in the Apollo Program. the 4th mission to land on the Moon. the 1st to be termed as "J missions" (long duration stays on the Moon focusing on science).

flowers..

walked around the garden this afternoon. the cute red buds suddenly caught my attention. like blood staining the plants. so pretty. the greens are hardly boring anymore.

beauty in things exists in the mind, which contemplates them.

Tag: Magical Flying Carpet Ride

a peaceful n breezy night.

my bedroom window was suddenly thrown wide open !! the bedroom started to fill with mist .. the anxiety built-up. i reach out, yet i can't see my hands. i started shivering. closed my eyes n hugged my knees tightly in front of me ..

a gentle tap on the shoulder, i jolted n lifted my head wide-eyed. they smiled warmly at me. Genie King n Genie Princess stood in front of me, their magic carpets still floated behind them. i stared at them disbelievingly.

"this is a fairy tale. genie only exist in fairy tales." i kept chanting n shaking my head.

"calm down, child." she said, sitting herself beside my bed, n placing her hand on mine. "we are only here because you need us, n you longed for us to be here." she paused. "n so we came to grant you one wish. just one. think carefully, my dear, one thing that you truly longed for .."

tears welled up in my eyes. "happiness!" i blurted out without a second thought. "i want to be happy n content at all time - easy n difficult times."

"yes, we were right. that is indeed what you longed for." she nodded an acknowledging smile towards him.

she placed a hand on my head, softly patting me, "sleep now, child." she said. "free your mind. we will take you on a journey in your dreams tonight. a journey that will power you up for another day. you are not alone. never alone, my child .." i looked at her through blurred vision, tears flooded my eyes.

when i'm finally about to doze off, they flew out the window. she smile sweetly back at me, "sweet dreams, my dear." n closed the window softly behind her. a star at the far side of the sky seemed to blink. they were gone. n i slumber into a deep, warm sleep ..

Inner Peace.

deep in the night ..
its raining ..
feel so lonely, so empty ..

i may have a partner, yet he is not my soul-mate. i may have friends, yet how can they possibly help me out, when even my partner can't? i still cry myself to sleep .. yet who am i to complaint ..

i feel myself giving more than receiving. i'm drained. i filled others, yet who is to fill me up? a wise-person once told me "don't rely on another Man, only God can give you limitlessly". yet we can't accept god in an overnight or within a fortnight. dilemmas ..

why am i giving? maybe i should stop giving .. maybe i should suddenly become stern n pushy. maybe i should let him work things out himself. maybe i should stop treating him so nice. or maybe ..

why am i whining? no, this is not me .. face it, i'm stressed. school problems as base, personal problem pilled up on top. have i not achieve anything? have i not earn anything from working so hard towards it? maybe i'm in the wrong direction. maybe relationship really doesn't work this way. maybe someone should wake him. maybe he will never be awaken. or maybe ..

margay..

some background on the animal:
- species: Margay (Leopardus wiedii)
- origin: Central and South America
- weight: 3-9 kg
- body length: 45-80 cm
- tail length: 33-51 cm

it is often nicknamed the "Tree Ocelot". because of its skill in climbing. compared to its "cousin" - Ocelot - another similar species but larger in size. those who had cats or kittens at home probably know how to handle the "munching". i too learn from painful n bloody experience. the proud scars where my skin was torn open by Yuki (ゆき、雪) - my punk cat - still remains. :p when the "munching" begins, it was best to endure the pain and relax (instead of fighting back n pulling away). amazingly, he always seems to know exactly how far he can go. they love to leave interesting bite marks, but didn't puncture my skin ever since. :)

Patience.

during the interview 2 days ago, i was asked for my negative attitude. n i blurted out having "no patience" as the first. when the Belgium director asked for a reason for me to have said that, i elaborated that i dislike waiting. he nodded.

ways to overcome it? to distract myself - listen to music, read a book, looking at people .. oh wait .. i didn't mentioned the last one. it seemed fairly weird telling your interviewer, you like sitting around doing nothing but observing others. :p

what he said next caught me off guard - "it is the first time i heard Asian mentioned they have no patience. i thought they are always patient." i instinctively replied "no no, they are just good with hiding."

that conversation was kinda weird for an interview. but the mood lightens up when the both of us burst out laughing.

haven't had such a tense conversation for quite a while. despite killing the cells in our bodies .. i suppose spicing up our life once in a while is Fun (!!) after all ..

Le Festin

some background on the MV (music video):
- song title: Le Festin (The Feast)
- producer: Michael Giacchino
- artist: Camille
- album: Ratatouille Original Movie Soundtrack
- language: French

a beautiful song from Ratatouille.
*sway along with the music* :)

Ratatouille (2007)

"Ratatouille" is a French word. it is a traditional French Provençal stewed vegetable dish. typically consisting of eggplant, zucchini, onions, green peppers, tomatoes, and garlic, served hot or cold.

American pronunciation: rat-a-too-ee
French pronunciation: ra-ta-tui

definitely an enjoyable film !! its sugar, spice, n everything nice. haha. not in a Powerpuff Girls way though. but it did include these flavors alright. in its food, as well as the scenes, the friendship, the love ~~ Paris is a romantic city after all .. in relate to Paris, i found out that it is often nicknamed as 'The City of Light' (La Ville-lumière). don't you just love how French makes their vocabs sound so sexy n delicious? Rémy lives in Paris - where all good food lies. he is determine to be a chef. with the help of a human friend - Linguini - he succeeded. Linguini lacked of cooking abilities, yet struggled to keep his job at the restaurant. it turned out to be a win-win situation. the focused conflict lies in "restaurants are not suppose to have rats" versus "the chef is in fact a rat".

X-Seed 4000

the X-Seed 4000 is the tallest building ever fully envisioned (the designs for construction have been completed). the structure is yet to be constructed.

it will be 4 kilometers height. Mount Fuji (富士山) is 3.8 kilometers in height. its 800 floors capacity is estimated to accommodate 500 thousand to 1 million inhabitants.

Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

not a bad movie for vampire lovers. i like the idea of how they are reborn. not the typical zombie-crawl-out-of-dirt thingy .. but in a morgue !! n the kicking on the morgue-cabinet-door-to-get-out thingy ?? lets face it, this is the first !! sadly, Sadie (Lucy) didn't want to be a vampire. ah well, back to the "typical" vampire movie plot. where the vampires are always the bad-guys (bla bla bla ..). n Bishop (James) forced her into one. n she, in return, hunt him down. wanting to clear out the vampire tribes. Bishop .. is kinda young n too sexy for his name, isn't he? one thing about this movie .. is that the "biting" n "blood sucking" .. is not pretty. n it seemed to hurt a lot. n i do mean, A Lot !! *sweat* that should be a funny way to put it. haha. ah well, what i meant was .. the biting n blood-sucking ritual are suppose to be "sex" for vampires. sensual n luring in most cases. but in this movie, it was made like "tearing you up but not killing you" or "torturing you n let you scream your heart out". hm .. weird. haha. maybe its just another new concept that people build along the way ..

gundam (ガンダム) cat..

a picture shared by a HuGE Gundam (ガンダム) fan - jing -. adorable ain't it !! *snuggles* :)

失落.

一件零碎小事、不经意的小动作，让我惊觉 ：
他的心 … 或许并不放在我这儿 …

*失落 … 冷静*

Rogue Assassin (2007)

the movie is like a carousel (merry-go-round). you'll probably need the ending to get the whole picture. involves pretty cars, big houses, tons of weapons, gangs of black-coated Yakuza (Japanese mafia) s .. the 2 Yakuza clans - 1 lead by Chang, 1 lead by Shiro. Chang wanted to take back a pair of Golden Horses (huh?) stolen by Shiro years ago. these 2 yakuza clans are .. well, pretty much useless. they exists merely for the mass killings. the bosses died fairly quickly for being as "deadly" as they sounded. it also seemed meaningless for them to avoid so badly, to meet each other at this point. Jet is the assassin that kills the people from both the yakuza clans. by gaining their trust n using it against them. Jason is the partner of Jet before Jet's family is killed. there are personal issues here. the whole film is basically about Jet's personal vengeance - family got killed, change his face into the assassin's, get revenge from the boss that kill his family. end. despite the promise of Jet versus Jason fights, there weren't much. there were a lot of cursing, name-calling n gun fights. the gun fights were awesome - speed n accuracy - yet unfortunately still wasn't what was promised. the biggest mistake is probably putting all the Jet versus Jason fights in the trailer, making us feel n expect that to continue throughout the film. yet it did not. the ending with a twist, is what makes it interesting n refreshing ..

Vulgar.

we have a new neighbor recently - an Indian family. the father is a policeman. he drove a huge van, which says "Polis Bergerak". the family members include his wife, 2 kids, n some other adults, probably brothers or friends.

they had another bunch of friends, who ride loud bikes, n likes to come after 10pm. they would talk loudly in front of the house. in our quiet neighborhood, they are thunderous. i was most surprised with the amount of vulgar words that they are able to place inside 1 single sentence. mind you, they speak in Indian/Malay, yet all these vulgar words are said in Cantonese, Hokkien n even Mandarin ..

i'm sure almost everyone of us had gone through that stage of rebelliousness. carrying these vulgar words with us wherever we go. letting it take control. but for us to give it the power to corrupt us, to become our habit, n follows us throughout our lives, is a foolish choice.

although during certain incidents, such as an "almost-accident". we may not be able to avoid saying the f-word or s-word. it may not be acceptable, but still understandable.

i found it very disturbing, as much as they found it amusing. we are all aiming for a higher level n a better life. not to allow our values to become lower or "cheaper" ..

it is easy to learn a bad habits, but to get rid of it may took a lifetime.
as the Mandarin Idiom goes: 学好三年，学坏三天。

its a dog! its flowers?..

let there be a sense of humor, let there be the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life, and pass it on to others .. :)

Left vs. Right Brain

First, identify yourself as right or left brain person:

1. Hold your hands together (as if you were praying). If you see:
Left thumb is below the right thumb ---> left brain
Right thumb is below the left thumb ---> right brain

2. Fold your arms in front of you (as if you are angry). If you see:
Right arm above left arm ---> left brain
Left arm above right arm ---> right brain